Your Ex Has Stopped Contact With Your Children
If the other parent is refusing to allow you to see your children, you have legal routes to restore contact. The court's paramount consideration is always the child's welfare.
Quick Answer
Attempt direct communication first, then attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) — this is a mandatory first step before applying to court in most cases. If mediation fails or is unsuitable, apply for a Child Arrangements Order using form C100. The court's overriding concern is the welfare of the child, not the rights of either parent.
Full Explanation
Under section 1 of the Children Act 1989, the child's welfare is the court's paramount consideration in any proceedings concerning a child's upbringing. There is a statutory presumption (introduced by the Children and Families Act 2014) that parental involvement is beneficial unless there is evidence of risk of harm — this does not mean a 50/50 split, but the court starts from the presumption that contact with both parents is generally in a child's interests.
Before issuing proceedings, you must attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) unless an exemption applies. Exemptions include domestic violence, urgency, child protection concerns, or the other party's refusal to attend. A mediator will assess whether your dispute is suitable for mediation and, if not, will issue a MIAM certificate allowing you to proceed to court.
If mediation is unsuccessful or unsuitable, you apply to the Family Court using Form C100 (and Form C1A if there are allegations of harm or domestic abuse). The court may make a Child Arrangements Order under section 8 of the Children Act 1989, specifying who the child lives with ('lives with' order, formerly residence) and who the child spends time with ('spends time with' order, formerly contact). A Child Arrangements Order can also set out indirect contact (phone calls, letters, video calls).
Once an order is made, breach is a serious matter. The enforcing parent can apply using Form C79 for enforcement. The court can impose unpaid work requirements, fines, or — in extreme cases — commit the breaching party to prison for contempt. Courts are generally reluctant to imprison parents because this affects the child, but repeated wilful breaches will be treated seriously.
If there are immediate safety concerns — for example, you believe a child is at risk — you can apply without notice (ex parte) for an emergency prohibited steps order or contact order. The court can list an urgent hearing within days.
Legal Basis
- §Children Act 1989 s.1 — welfare principle and presumption of parental involvement
- §Children Act 1989 s.8 — child arrangements orders
- §Children Act 1989 s.11J — enforcement of child arrangements orders
- §Children and Families Act 2014 s.10 — mandatory MIAM requirement
- §Family Procedure Rules 2010, Part 12
What To Do
Attempt Direct Communication
Write to or message the other parent in a calm, child-focused way. Keep all communications — they may be relevant in court. Avoid anything that could be presented as harassment.
Attend a MIAM
Contact a Family Mediation Council-accredited mediator to arrange a MIAM. This is a legal requirement in most cases before filing a court application. The mediator will assess suitability for mediation and issue a signed MIAM certificate if proceedings are needed.
Attempt Mediation
If both parties are willing, attend mediation sessions to negotiate a contact arrangement. Any agreement reached can be made into a consent order by the court, giving it legal force.
File Form C100
If mediation fails or is unsuitable, complete Form C100 (and C1A if applicable) and file it at the Family Court. Pay the court fee (currently £255) or apply for remission if on a low income. Legal aid is available in cases involving domestic abuse.
Attend FHDRA and Subsequent Hearings
The court will list a First Hearing Dispute Resolution Appointment (FHDRA). A Cafcass officer will speak to both parties and produce a safeguarding letter. The judge will try to resolve the matter at this hearing or give directions for a full welfare hearing.
Important Deadlines
Important Warnings
Withholding contact is not automatically a contempt of court unless a court order is already in place — your first step should always be to get an order.
Do not remove the child from the jurisdiction without the other parent's written consent or a court order — this could amount to child abduction under the Child Abduction Act 1984.
Allegations of domestic abuse will significantly affect the proceedings — a separate Finding of Fact Hearing may be ordered before contact is determined.